I don't understand.

Today, the sermon is on daniel. He is one bible character whose life fascinates me. The way, he is able to juggle the different aspect in his life. The way, he is so so so so discipline.

I drop by the hawker centre, to pick my brother up. But, my sis told me my mum needs help, so i went to her stall, and begin to do the usual stuff of cleaning up the bowls. Yes, in what I wear for service today. It felt rather uncomfortable, but I didn't mind, I just helped. But, as I helped to wash up the stuff, she started scolding me. You know, I felt pretty unjustified. Saturday is suppose to be my off day, and I helped. For a moment I didn't understand. I didn't understand why I need to be the scapegoat for my younger siblings who refuse to help her. I didn't understand, why I'm given a ministry that is so hectic, I almost could not juggle.

Yet, even when I don't understand, I obeyed. I did not talk back to my mum. I did what I need to do quietly. I forgot to buy moisturisers, my hands felt so dry, they feel as if they are cracking. For a moment, I didn't understand why, my ministry had been so harsh on me.

I had an argument with my lil brother. He don't seem to understand our situation, or my situation. I don't demand his understanding, I just want him to know how to look out for himself. It was an exasperated conversation. I could not get my message across. I meant well. He don't get it.

When I reach home, I wrote a email to a dear friend to tell her, how happy I was for her. Didn't the bible say, he who refreshes others will himself be refresh? I think I am. Well, I love her what. =)

As I sat down, thinking about the things I don't understand. I begin to understand.

Didn't I pray to God, that I can feel the things he feel?
And in the circumstances where I didn't understand, all the more I seek after him. While I didn't understand, Jesus was with me.
When I obey without full understanding, he is please with me.

=)